Tally ho, gentle traveller!

My friend Andrew is the first person in my group of friends to be expecting a child! Exciting times, and he somewhat foolishly told me about it, and I code-named the foetus. Its name is Optimus, or, "The Prime-Meister."

Optimus has four hearts, plus subsidiaries; Optimus is a Double Time Lord. Optimus will be the teacher's son, so no-one can make fun of Optimus. Optimus will be the pillar of the community, those who don't want Optimus will want to be Optimus. Optimus will be fearsome to behold.… Continue

I've applied to go back to university, because the real world and I don't see eye-to-eye on certain issues. Minimum wage? Nonono. Maximum wage, please.

I came across the weirdest couple of questions I've ever seen in an application form.

Were you born in the UK?
YES

How long have you been resident in the UK?
...
22 YEARS

I had to go to the doctor recently -- well, I say doctor, I mean I went to see the doctor who tells me to go and see a doctor. I had a chest infection, had to take a couple of weeks off work, it was awful and amazing at the same time because your family slide your food through a special hatch in the door... you know, the whole thing.

He recommended that I just work through it.

So basically, my doctor told me to "man up."

What really gets me, though, is how you're only supposed to go in with o… Continue